Letters to PiePie

When The Process Is The Outcome

September 23, 2026

Dear PiePie,

Increasing, we will be outsourcing doing of the ‘work’ to AI. And oftentimes, it will be faster and broadly more efficient to do so.

And yet, sometimes we might miss that the process of doing the ‘work’ is, in and of itself, valuable and an output as well. When we write, we are thinking. We are reasoning with ourselves if a particular word or phrase captures our thoughts – why and why not – and in so doing, testing the thinking with which we do. In paying attention to the details, we are building mental models within ourselves about how to grasp a particular area. Those are valuable. A video by mathematician Terence Tao gives other examples of why there is value in doing things in a slow way.

Thus, whilst we live in an output-first society, and the pressure to get to output is incredibly high (after all, who has time to use a less efficient means to get something done if the benefits of it are so unclear and uncertain), it isn’t a bad idea to sometimes choose a more tedious path.

While this statement might sound extremely Luddite, it’s something to be remembered as society starts to adopt AI and be AI-first. It reminds of a quote from Robert Pirsig ‘Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values’:

It’s the sides of the mountain which sustain life, not the top. Here’s where things grow. But of course, without the top you can’t have any sides. It’s the top that defines the sides.

Love, Dad

Pride

October 21, 2025

Dear PiePie,

You’re growing up to be someone with a strong sense of pride. An incident stuck out – we were on the plane when you accidentally spilled a bit of hot soup onto Mom’s pillow and blanket, which we were obviously not pleased by. We asked you to say sorry, but you adamantly refused to. Yet, when I meted out some punishment – no watching in-flight TV for a certain amount of time – you accepted that readily as I believed you knew you were in the wrong. But perhaps you felt like because it was accidental, you did not want to apologize.

I suppose, I am not fully against someone with a strong sense of pride. But, while we should stand up for what we believe to be right, and/or rightfully ours, there are times when being slightly flexible with this thing called pride will allow things to progress more smoothly.

Still, as much as I say that, I am glad you’re developing into someone with such a sense of pride.

Love, Dad

写给自己的信

August 25, 2025

亲爱的派派,

这封信，与其之前和以后所有的信，都是写给你的。但，虽说信头上的名字是你的，写着写着，有时会模糊是否是写给你，还是写给从前的自己。

最近和朋友聊着现状，不知不觉提到了童年时期各自的成长是怎么塑造了今天自己的模样。她还加了一句：以后我不鼓励孩子像我这么样。

这一句话戳到心头了。也许大家都是永远途行在一个弥补过去的道路中。也许我们怎么对待孩子，取决于自己是怎么走过来的，与其对现在自己的认可和满意度。

至始至终，虽然表达与沟通有差距，大家都是想着为子女好。

所以，这封信其实没有什么宏大的讯息，只是想说，在我写的这些信里，虽然句句提你，却可能句句都是对之前的自己反馈。希望信对你有帮助与启发，但路还是自己走的。愿你走的开心自在，走的多姿多彩，走出一番风采。

爱你，爸爸

努力的过程，就是最后的收获

July 24, 2025

亲爱的派派,

在你长大后的将来，人工智能（AI）将会渗透你生活里大大小小的环节。

它能使你万事通。它能让你迅速，轻易地了解各个领域的知识。但，它也能成为你脑子不可缺少的拐杖，让你脑子逐渐变弱，无法承载独立的思考。

这两者之间取决于你是否把思考转交给AI去做了。

这么比喻吧。你能走路，但今天，有了个电动自行车。骑着它，你能去更远的地方。但，你如果完全依赖电动自行车，腿的肌肉将会颓废，之后，你想走都不能走了。

同样的，你的脑需要感受，承受，着知识的那分重量。就像运动会很累，用脑子思考也会累。但，这挣扎恰恰是然你成长的激素。

障碍就是道路。

爱你，爸爸

Purpose In Possibilities

June 15, 2025

Dear PiePie,

I have probably mentioned this before. For peers my age who are considering whether to have a child, I have tended to be on the side of advocating that they take that path. This is contrary to the trend of couples who have tended not to have offsprings, whatever the reasons might be. And there are many.

But in having a child, the parents gain a sense of possibility that would otherwise be absence. To be clear, this is not the same as putting their hopes and dreams on the child as a burden.

In every lifetime, the start is full of possibilities and gradually, all those possibilities are narrowed and replaced by the actualization of (or failure to achieve) those potentials. At some stage, one might feel that the rest of their life has already been laid out. That the rest of their life has already been written.

Well, with a child, the pages remain unwritten, and possibilities abound. Again, I am not advocating that the parents write in their child’s book. What’s exciting is simply that there are unwritten chapters that the parent is somewhat involved and invested in. That there are stories to be discovered. To rejoice at. To despair from. The vicissitudes of life continue to contribute to highs and lows of the parents’ emotions.

It’s often better to travel than to arrive.

Love, Dad

PS: In writing this, I recognized that I sound incredibly self-centered. That having a child is so that it allows the parents to have some sort of benefit. And yet, there are arguments against having a child that stems from self-interest as well, and I do not see that as materially different.

I M Happy Every Day

May 13, 2025

Dear PiePie,

You drew the following today.

As a parent, there are many things we make you do – swimming, spelling, putting on sunblock, no sweets before meals, sleeping earlier etc. But at the end of the day, we basically just want you to be healthy and happy. And so, this was an exceptionally heartwarming message to see, placed out on the messy dining table.

Maybe, in whatever emotional state you might be in as you’re reading this, it would be helpful to know that at some point in the distant past, when you were just about 6 years old, that you were happy. Every. Day.

Perhaps you might even remember drawing this.

And I do hope that at whichever age you’re seeing this, you can be happy every day.

Love, Dad

PS: Well done is writing ‘every day’ rather than ‘everyday’ as well. Grammar 10/10.

Adulting

April 6, 2025

Dear PiePie,

If all goes according to plan, you are reading this whilst on the cusp of entering adulthood. And you may think entering the world of ‘adults’ is scary because you don’t know what you are supposed to do. But guess what, the adults don’t either.

There are no courses telling one how to be an adult, and everyone is also experiencing everything for the first time. Mom and Dad aren’t bestowed with prior knowledge of how to be an adult or to be your parent. It’s new to us too! We’ve simply learnt over time, that we’ve got no choice but to make things work out.

What adulting ultimately is, is a process of you discovering that you have it in you to face uncertainty and conquer it. Somehow. Some way. Time and time again.

所以，愿温柔的你被世界温柔以待。但，即便你走的道路是坎坎坷坷的，我也相信你能克服千辛万苦，变得强大。要不，还有爸妈在这，做你最强的后盾。

Love, Dad

The Diminishing Value Of Prose?

February 2, 2025

Dear PiePie,

When I first started writing this series of letters, there were no AI chatbots. Now, they are a dime a dozen and getting cheaper by the day. And they are so good that I’m sure, if I feed it the past letters I’ve written, and ask it to generate 30, 40, 50 more of those, it will do a commendable job.

It will likely be able to write in clearer prose, potentially make more coherent arguments and, frankly, save me a bit of time that I can spend with you. In a broader way, this applies to everything where the written output is the end in and of itself – for substack posts, newspaper articles, encyclopedia entries. AI can do it faster, cheaper and often better.

Which is to say, what’s the point of me writing all these letters when AI could do it?

I suppose the distinction lies in the fact that the written output of these letters are not quite the main purpose of these letters. It sounds odd, and certainly, I have not had to confront this until realising the potential futility of this letter-writing exercise, but perhaps the act of writing these letters is also inescapably important as well. The letters are a mean to an end, not the end in itself that I thought it was.

Writing these allow for moments of reflection, for wondering what type of child you are growing up to be and the type of advice you might need to hear. For thinking about how we should parent you. And regardless of whether you eventually read this, those self-reflection will inevitably seep its way into how I respond and react to you, day by day, in this current moment. That will matter.

Also, the letters are not meant for all children. It is written with you in mind, and that means the anecdotes, examples, and advice is a response to our shared daily experiences. The AI can’t know (for now), how you might giggle when someone else gets scolded, or how you might get ‘hangry’ and whiny only to transform into a hyperactive and happy kid after some food. We know. And that knowing should make the difference between what I am writing, and what AI can write to you.

And so, for now, I’ll persist in writing these letters, hoping that they matter even many years in the future. Otherwise, I’ll hope they matter in the ways my actions change during my interactions with you right now, however minuscule the change might be.

Love, Dad

2024 Year In Review

December 31, 2024

Dear PiePie,

I suppose, in keeping with the theme of reviewing the year, the question will continue to be: what will 2024 be known for, many years from now?

The easy answer appears to be that Trump got re-elected to become president, and he will almost certainly leave some imprints on the world over his next 4 years. That said, I am not sure the impact will be as big as parts of the American populace believe it will be – ‘the end of democracy’ as they suggest. Checks and balances should mean that the Land of the Free keeps chugging along, never too quickly or decisively, regardless of who is in power. It is, for better or worse, both the drawback and benefit of democracy.

Nope. In the long-scheme of things, I believe that SpaceX managing to ‘catch’ its Super Heavy rocket booster, thus opening up the potential for reusable space launching rocket and dramatically reducing the cost of space launch, will prove to be 2024’s lasting contribution to humanity.

It is a significant step forward towards normalizing mass space travel, and eventually, the possibility of a multi-planetary human race. What a weird and strange thought that would be. Might it allow more people to see our world from a Spaceship Earth point of view, where we will be able to viscerally experience Earth as a one crew on a spaceship working together for survival and progress?

Who knows, but what a world that might be, as humanity explores the galaxy.

On an individual level, you grew so much this year. It seems every year we say that, but it remains true. You are hugely more outgoing at school, with a few close friends, and have made big leaps in overcoming your fear of public speaking, although you are still understandably shy. You are much more independent and now run off to play with your cousins without needing us to tag along.

As time goes by, you’ll run further and further away. That is natural, and desirable. And we shall be so glad to see you find your stride, sprinting into the horizon. Here’s to 2025!

Love, Dad

We Are Imperfect (And That’s OK)

December 29, 2024

Dear PiePie,

I find that, often, what causes a lot of mental angst or psychological stress is when we are not able to live up to the version of ourselves that we believe we should be, whether this image of perfection was self-imposed or influenced by the external world.

And this letter isn’t to tell you what the perfect version of yourself should be, or to instruct you on how to get there.

It’s simply to suggest that this journey to the ideal image of yourself is exactly that, a journey. And it’s a lifelong journey. It’s ok that you are not quite there yet, and perhaps never will be.

Embrace that imperfection even as you strive, just a little every day, to move closer to that version of yourself you wish to be.

Sometimes we are trapped in a mental loop of self-loathing, that we procrastinate or are quick to anger or care about what others think of us. Accepting that you are flawed takes power away from those flaws. Tell yourself that how you feel/act is an understandable response to the situations you are facing, even if you might not like to have felt/acted in that way.

It might help to converse with that voice within: “I care too much about others’ opinions of me, and that’s ok. It makes sense that I care a lot about their opinions, but let’s work on being less bothered by them.”

Hopefully, this might come in handy should you ever feel inadequate. I fear that this letter might eventually be used against me if you fully embrace your flaws with no intention of changing. But I suppose, if you can’t be contentedly working on improving yourself, I’d rather that you are happily flawed than unhappily striving towards perfection.

Love, Dad